A Christmas Carol - 2008....

A Christmas Carol - 2008 version by DB (that's Dickens' Brother to you)

Siggi Marley was no more. He was not Ebeneezer's partner but a good customer at ETV (that's Ebeneezer's Talking Vehicle to you). But he had not been seen for many a day. But Ebeneezer had to move on. He still had his less than satisfied customer Bull Scratchit to deal with. Old Scratchit was a simple fellow and with simple tastes. And as long as there was fish on his evening dinner plate at regular intervals he would be a happy Scratchit.

Old Scratchit also had a son, tiny Timo, who he was always worrying about. Tiny Timo did not like fish. His tastes were even more simple - something sweet but still quite tasty. So while Scratchit wanted fish, he could not understand why Ebeneezer kept on feeding the likes of tiny Timo and not those who should increase Ebeneezer's coffers all the more.

It was late at night. Ebeneezer was all alone busily counting the rewards of yet another successful day. It was then that he heard a knock at his front door. And while his mom had taught him never to open the door late at night, or for that matter read less than complimentary web sites, Ebeneezer was a curious fellow. He was greeted by two strangers outside. Well only one was outside who kept asking if the latest model really was the sister, mother, great-aunt of another. The other, whose name he could not pronounce with any degree of accuracy, and he certainly could not spell propely, kept on muttering if the interns were hot or not. “Bah humbug” said Ebeneezer “Cannot a fellow get on with his work in peace”.

With that experience over, Ebeneezer went back to his counting. No sooner had he started when there was another knock at the door. This time he was greeted by his nephew, young Harri, who informed his uncle that he was collecting for his favourite charity and wondered if he had any models, camera-persons or even moderators to spare. It seemed to Harri that models were definately in short supply and surely Ebeneezer could spare a few. "Charity !" growled Ebeneezer "I have given more than enough already. I see no Point. X marks the spot and that is where charity begins." Harri left empty handed.

The whole experience had had a tiring effect on poor Ebeneezer so he decided, with deep regret, to leave the counting until the next day, and go to bed. It was then that he heard a strange noise coming from the next room. When he went there he was greeted by a ghostly spectacle. He did not recognize the person but then he noticed the mobile in his hand and the VIP still waiting to be sent. "Yes", the stranger said. "I am the spirit of Siggi Marley.I died in shock when I realised just how much I had spent. Tonight, dear Ebeneezer you will be visited by 3 more ghosts. Take heed at their message"

Ebeneezer could not sleep. He also remembered that Siggi had not paid his last mobile bill and that hurt even more.. What message could these ghosts actually give if, that is, they actually came. Ebeneezer did not have long to wait as the first ghost walked through his bedrrom wall. "I am the spirit of times past. Come with me."

And Ebeneezer found himself in a room he well recognized. It was his place of business before he spent to him a small fortune on the newer decorations. The walls were blue. And he could also see so many of his past employees. The ones that Bull Scratchit now missed. The type that guaranteed that fish would be regularly served in the evenings. "Remember this scene, Ebeneezer" And with that the spirit vanished and Ebeneezer found himself back in his bedroom.

He had hardly rested his head when the second ghost appeared. "I am the spirit of present times. Come with me."

Once more Ebeneezer was in a room he recognized. That he certainly should as he had only been there a few hours earlier. And he now viewed his current employees. While the ones from the past were moving and guaranteed to make Bull Scratchit a happy man, these tended to sit down waiting for something to happen. What is the problem Ebeneezer thought to himself. I still have my customers today. Let me worry about tomorrow some other time. And with that the spirit vanished.

But Ebeneezer did not find himself back in his bedroom. He was still in his place of business although he hardly recognized it. There was no furniture. There was no light. There were no employees. "Why am I still here" He spoke aloud. "You are here because of me" came the reply. He turned around and saw the third ghost shining through the darkness. Ebeneezer was shaking in fright. "So if I have this right and since I have already been visited by the spirit of times past and the spirit of times current…." "Yes" spoke the ghost "I am the spirit of future times. Remember this scene, Ebeneezer". “But if that is the future” spoke Ebeneezer, “how can I change it ?” “As ever” spoke the spirit, “the future is in your hands”. And with that the spirit vanished and Ebeneezer found himself back in his bedroom..........

For those un-familiar with the original version, Ebeneezer became a different person. He always ensured that Scratchit had plenty of fish on his evening table yet still keeping his tiny Timo happy. And as for Harri, well that's another story "Great Expectations"

And the writer of the new version makes no apologies for the liberties taken both with the story and the characters. But it is Christmas and he hopes that everyone takes it in good spirit. He certain took plenty of spirit in order to write it.

A very Merry Christmas to you all.

Still rolling on the floor laughing and still wondering if Mashiara is related to Margo-Linda family or to Ashanti-Melisa one. :))))))))))

DB:

Applause ! Applause !

But ETV = Ebenezer’s Talking Vehicle ?

I was always convinced that it is a very closely guarded secret ETV is an acronym for … I cant tell you, it is a secret !

But it has something to do with Euler’s number e = 2,718281828459..., it playing an important yet unknown part in the physics of clandestine communications between secret services, Terrestrial, and Voyeurism.

thanks for another entertaining story.

what the Dickens ?

good to have you back, with something to read on Sunday

do you have a fish fetish? if not

Harri offers Pizza with mushy peas most nights.

Great. And after consulting Harri, I can asure you that he will knock on that door in some weeks ... So Ebeneezer, would be nice if we could make out the details via Skype before you are caught by surprise ;-). Harri hasn't seen you for quite some time ...