My dear Hans you disappoint me greatly

My dear Hans you disappoint me greatly.

If you troubled to read my earlier topic, you will have realised that I have found my true love.

The email was sent. The meeting place was advised. And there I waited. I was fully prepared to give up my y-fronts there and then. I would even have provided the red wrapping.

There was even a place for you reserved for my advance birthday party – the actual day is today should anyone be curious.

Well I think the mail was received as it was not returned to me. In fact in my excitement in meeting such a famous guy I managed to send it maybe four or even five times.

And so I waited. My eyes were firmly fixed on the revolving door looking for the familiar face that I was certain would enter. I even waited a little longer than the appointed deadline. But you did not come.

My dear Hans you disappoint me greatly.

Yet over that coffee we would have shared (you could even have licked the spoon) I only had one question for you. Since you had indeed challenged me to compose that idea for one of your shows. Since you had indeed given an encouraging response to the idea set before you. Since you seemingly did not have the courage of your convictions to actually produce the idea on the tv, my only question was why.

Were you afraid of the show being just too good and not being able to repeat that ?. Well I do not think it was that good. It was just an idea. As I said before, you cannot script for an inter-active show. You must adapt as the show develops. That is the role of the director who should work with these ideas. Something that might look good on paper (and I had encouragement from people who have worked with these ideas) might be a total disaster without the right direction. So maybe that is what your colleagues were afraid of.

But you missed the perfect opportunity to silence this ‘critic’. If it had been the disaster that you fear you only had to say to me “leave it to those that know and not those that think they know”

But since nearly everyone is in the dark about this idea, I will now publish it in exactly the same form as you saw it. For everyone, remember that this was written on the night of the first show in ‘the forest’ without the then knowledge that the shows would soon return to the old set.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Theme for an eUrotic show - "Girls' Night In"

The theme assumes that the sitting room set is still available but some simple furnishings can be used.

Scene One:

The show starts with just one girl. The setting is a party. What we call a 'Hen Night' that usually takes place before a wedding.
The model can introduce the show and explain to the viewers about the party and that she is expecting her guests ( the other models) to arrive any minute.

One at a time, the rest of the girls will arrive- they carry a small suitcase which holds their sleep-wear. The first girl greets them in turn and the guest greets the host with a small gift. The gift should get naughtier as each girl arrives. Suggestions for the gifts in this order - A flower, some chocolates,a bottle of 'wine',a fluffy toy,a pair of handcuffs, a sex toy. The host will need to react as each gift is given.

Throughout the show, the girls should interact with each other, eat the chocolates, drink the 'wine' and make use of the handcuffs. They can also react to the sex toy without actually using it.

The scenes that follow are a series of party games. The moderator will describe the game and invite the viewers to send the SMS for which girls they want to play the games. The mod will also explain that the guys on the headsets of the girls who play the games will give directions of how they are to proceed.

Scene Two - Game One

The game is called charades. The guy on the headset tells the girl to act out a little play like the title of a film or book. The other girls are supposed to guess but it is their callers who are to give the answers or the SMS senders.

Scene Three - Game Two

This is a simple card game known as 'strip poker'. The girl who loses the game has to remove an item of clothing. The game is over when the girl has removed as many items as she will allow. She does not redress to the clothes she wore when she entered but into the nightwear that she carried in the suitcase.

Scene Four - Game Three

A variation on the classic 'Hangman' game. I call it 'Stripman'. It requires paper an crayon. One caller will tell a girl a word (5 or 6 letters) and the girl writes a series of dashes "_" on the paper to represent each letter. Another girl must guess each letter (or rather her caller). If the caller guesses correctly, the letter is placed on the paper and the girl who wrote the word removes an item of clothing. If the caller guesses incorrectly, the girl who wrote the word puts on an item of clothing. Again, the model will change into her nightwear after this game.

Ideally, all girls should be in their nightwear before the next game.

Scene Five: - Game Four

The game is called 'Twister'. A sheet is laid out with a series of squares with letters and/or number in the squares. The girl is directed to place either a hand or a foot on a square. She must leave that hand or foot in that square while being directed to place either the other hand or foot in another square. The game ends when the girl is unable to place the hand or foot as directed. Since the girls are in their nightwear, it adds an erotic twist to the game.

Scene Five

A feature of a 'Hen Party' is a male stripper. One of the girls from E2 can fulfill this role by being dressed as a guy and do a strip tease for the host.

The party ends as all the models fall asleep after a good party !

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Would this really have made a good show ? We will probably never know.

PS As for the spare place at dinner for my pre-birthday party that was amply filled. I do not propose to embarrass the lady by revealing her name (you could guess correctly as after-all there are plenty to choose from). I understand that she does read this site so I just wish to thank her for the company and a very funny evening. But do not worry. She is not about to leave your tv. She took that decision many months ago and thinking on what has happened since, she made the right choice.

[And for the benefit of everyone, the only desert that was proposed would have been served at the table]

PPS And whilst my dear Hans you did not grace me with your presence, a few days earlier it was oh so different. A few emails at very short notice. A quick phone call on the Friday morning and two very familiar faces did indeed walk through that revolving door.

I am not at liberty to say too much right now but I do hope for a strong working relationship for this site and my new friends. True, and they know this, we did not always see eye-to-eye but there are exciting times ahead. I hope we can all be there.
 

Instead of shaving, could I suggest waxing :-0

As long as he doesn't fulfill Rockabyes whishes, you may only assume how well he is shaven...

What's all this vitrol against Hans ?. He is like Adonis compared to....

Watch me as I show you the 'lack of sleep' rings around my eyes.

Admire me as I speak my perfect German but show my not too perfect yellowed teeth which remind me of Mutley.

Actually Mutley, the mongrel, would have been a better choice of nick than Ringo.

Has he gone now ? Great !. Now Hans, show 'em all how it should be done.

PS. Don't forget to shave.

I'm disappointed of Hans too... asked him several times for an eurotic dance or his underwear and he never fullfilled my wishes...

Another little variation: you can hide in the studio some people as: David Beckam, Roberto Carlos, Johnny Wilkinson, or some molvanian strikers as Dimitar Berbatov or Valeri Bojinov, they can kick *****ander's ass and soon hide themselves again. :))))))))

I've another game: "Shave Hans!", Hans sitted on a barber chair, two girls at both sides, each one has to shave a half of Hans's face, who first finishes wins, they can use everything to shave Hans's face: traditional or electric razor, mowing,  shear-machine, herbicide, napalm. :)))))))))

And don't forget the after-shave. :)))))))))))))))))

The saturday games of Hans destroy the other show! Last saturday the models answered only to the VIP sms which belonged to the game. The strips were shown very bad or not at all! I will never send a sms in future on saturday night! If etv will only take the money of the poor fools who spend some hundred € for a used slip, partly in vain: ok, but then there will be no other sms!

I have another game for the party, the "Kickass game", F****ander in the middle of the studio (maybe blindfolded), the other girls behind him, one of girls will kick his ass, soon he turns back and has to guess who kicked his ass, while all girls are turning around their index finger in front of him. (this is a variation of a game called in Italy "lo schiaffo del soldato", soldier's slap)

P.S. sorry for foot fetishists but all girls in this game have to wear boots (better combat boots or working ones, even better hobnailed ones). :)))))))))))

@DB,i must say you have great ideas ,specialy game one and game two,those are terriffic,and i think that his could be done,if only the bosses of Etv would listen and read this,than i think a lot of people (callers/sms's) could be happy with this.(i think)

Happy birthday to you (or like elmo says :gelukkige verjaardag )( we say this also in Belgium and here's one more for you " ik wens jou een goede gezondheid" this means " i wish you a good health)

Kind Regards to you !

"Shaky"-Schumi

(the three musketeers-the red/white shark)

The model who brings thw flower to the host may say "this is from the outside". :))))))))))))))))))))))))))

about the script, is ok, but I agree with Rockabye, there would be some problems with the callers.

happy birthday!!

I’m not sure if threesomes with camels are allowed in etv-land. But without the camels they seem to be ok. So we will quickly forget about the camel and read the script instead.
“Scene One:” That’s a good start, actually reminds me of something I don’t remember.
Ok, let’s get serious.
Hm, the sex toy is the first challenge. I assume there is a job at risk if one of the girls finds out what it is for (either because she get’s curious or because she get’s a heart attack). So it’s a very naughty approach just from the beginning. I never thought you were such a kinky fellow. ;-)
“Scene Two – Game One:” You’re expecting the guy on the phone to use articulated speach and not just some grunting? Hm, could be possible, but you should grant a phone joker to the models. If the current caller is just a wanker, she can call someone else.
“Scene three – Game Two:” I’m very suspicious about card games at etv. I remember a whole show about it, and that party went definitely dead. So you need the right models to make this successful. With a bunch of Barbies this is not going to work.
“Scene Four – Game Three:” Now that is going to be funny if an Arabic caller is defining the word and a German has to find out. Maybe you have to define a language in which this game should be played, than it might work. The phone joker is required again.
“Scene Five – Game Four:” Good choice. So far you have neglected the foot fetishists as one of the regular crowds. They will get their share here. One and a half year ago I would have asked for the removal of some of the nightwear if she isn’t able to reach the right field, but I think we can be happy with what you suggested nowadays.
The second “Scene Five:” Nice ending.

So it could work, but there has to be some detail work to be done. Maybe one or two games have to be replaced by something more fitting to the situation.

I won’t comment on the last part, instead I greet everyone how thinks that he/she is somewhere mentioned or not.
Just so much: I’m very happy, I’m very sad, some envy but no hate. And a quick thanks to another one.
 

Thanks to all for the feedback (and the additions)

Hope someone else is reading these as well.

@DB Hartelijk feliciteert

you saw, you came ??, you conquered

or should that read vldi ??

Wens Jou 'n Gelukkige Verjaarsdag en veel zukses
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag

a pyjama party at the end cool ;-) on a waterbed playing darts

Darts ? I thought that comment was much more subtle hence my reply -))