Some Fun And Jokes

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24.09.2011, 02:07

Some Fun And Jokes

I searched for the right place here to post this funny story. I don't know where it is.
Off-Topic Discussion could be right but why not to have a special place for funny stories and jokes.
If I am mistaken, I say sorry in advance to the administration of LIVESHOW-TV.

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This is my opener and I hope you like the story with background. Let the sun shine always. Smile

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Five cannibals get jobs as programmers in a company. During the welcome the boss is saying:
Now you can work here, you will have a good monthly salary and you can eat in our canteen. But, don't bother the other employees,please.
The cannibals promise him a correct behavior.
After four weeks the boss says to them:
You make a great job but we are missing a cleaning women. Do you know anything about her ?
The cannibals say no and that nobody of them ate her.
When the boss is away again the chief of the cannibals is asking: Who of you has eaten the cleaning women ?
After some minutes the youngest cannibal says that he has eaten her. The chief of the cannibals is getting very angry:
We have nourished us for four weeks from team leaders, department leaders, project managers
nobody noticed anything and you stupid idiot ate the cleaning women… ???


The result of the story: Some ones are missed - others not. Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin

Please smile, life is too short for a long face Big Grin

01.04.2020, 19:20

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Safer Sex ;)
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Regards
Joker

10.03.2020, 15:27

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

SmileSmile

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25.02.2020, 14:31

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

SmileSmile

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25.02.2020, 08:03

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

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01.06.2019, 15:45

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

SmileSmile

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25.05.2019, 21:34

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Ralph comes home pissed one night, stumbles upstairs, slides into bed beside his sleeping wife and falls into a deep slumber.

He awoke standing at the pearly gates before st peter. "You died in your sleep ralph" st peter explains.

"What... no this can’t be!" Ralph cries "I've so much to live for... please send me back"

St peter explains that the only way Ralph is allowed back is in the form of a chicken.
Devastated but desperate to see his family again he asks to be sent to a small farm near his house.

Next thing ralph knows he's covered in feathers, clucking and pecking around in the dirt on a warm summers morning.

A rooster strolls past and says "so you're the new hen? Hows your first day?" Ralph the hen replies "it’s not bad really but I have this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, like I’m gonna explode"

"You're ovulating" explains the rooster "have you never laid an egg before?" "Never" says Ralph. "Just relax and let it happen, there’s nothing to be afraid of" the rooster says, reassuringly.

Ralph steadies himself and tries to relax and a few uncomfortable moments later out pops his first egg.

Ralph was Overcome with relief and emotion at the feeling of becoming a mother. He soon laid a second egg. He was overjoyed.

Just as he readied himself to lay his third egg he felt a sharp slap on the back of his head and heard his wife screaming "Ralph you dirty bastard wake up, you've shit the bed again!"

25.05.2019, 21:32

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?

"Some arsehole has my pen."

25.05.2019, 19:08

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

SmileSmile

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24.05.2019, 22:08

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

I was angry and called my girlfriend a whore. I'll end up paying for that later.

24.05.2019, 21:37

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

On the first night of their honeymoon the new bride tells her husband..

"I have a confession to make,i am not a virgin..i have been with one other guy"

"Oh yeah..who was the other guy"?

"Tiger Woods..the golfer" she replied..

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."

The couple then makes passionate love.

When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband drops the phone and makes love to his wife a second time.

When they finish, he goes back to the phone.

"What are you doing now?" she asks.

"I'm still hungry, so I'm going to ring room service for some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."

The husband puts the phone down and heads back to bed.

Exhausted after the third lovemaking session, he shuffles back to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this hole!"

09.05.2019, 15:45

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

SmileSmile

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08.05.2019, 18:22

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

SmileSmile

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07.05.2019, 13:21

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

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31.01.2019, 15:07

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

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