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Pleasing A Women
A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that's right - women can browse men from floors of choices. Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes... a nifty setup - with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right? So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please. |
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Exams in anatomy.
The professor takes a bony pelvis and hands it round to the canditate. And asks: "Colleague, this is a pelvis, you know. What do you think, which sexual organs did it contain, male or female ?" The canditate seems not to be quite sure. He turns the pelvis round, looks at it from all sides, thinks for a long time and then he says: "This pelvis contained male sexual organs!" The professor nods. "Yes, you may be right, this pelvis could have contained a male sexual organ. But only occasionally!" |
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A mouse is walking on a pasture. A cow drops some shit and this buries the mouse, only her tail juts out of the shit
The mouse starts squeaking and trampling, but doesn't get free. A cat hears the squeaking, sees the tail of the mouse, pulls the mouse out of the shit, cleans it and then eats it up. What do we learn from this? -Not everyone getting you into a jam is ill-intentioned -Not everyone getting you out of a jam means well for you -When you are stuck in deep doo-doo stay calm and shut up Regards Joker |
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Someone is working in sawmill. Now he's having his 25-years anniversary of working in this factory.
The boss sarts to celebrate a big party. In the evening during the party he said to the boss, he has to tell him a secret: I have taken with me a briefcase filled with wood every day. No problem is the boss saying. We are a big factory and that doesn't matter. Some seconds later, he is brought up short by the telling of him. So, he is saying: You have stolen a waggon of wood here ?! You are fired. Go to the HR department and get your papers next Monday! On this Monday when he got his papers, he is going into a church for confessing to a priest. What have you done, confess your sins, you can tell me everything. I have worked in a sawmill for 25 years and stole a waggon of wood. How can you be so stupid ? If you take a briefcase filled with wood every day, nobody will note anything   Hm, do not tell all your boss, but if you have a strong works council and you are member of the union, you can spare it you....
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nighthawk wrote:Very good brudgon but where are schools open on Sundaythen wasn't a fun and jokes or not?
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brudgon wrote:Sunday School Lesson Very good brudgon but where are schools open on Sunday Okay in islamic and jewish countries |
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Sunday School Lesson
Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!" ... the teacher fainted! |
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A pig is standing in front of a receptacle on the wall.
"Heh old chap, are you walled? Or what ?"
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Two gentlemen sit in a train-compartment. They are silent, there isn't anything to talk about for them.
But this changes immediately when a pretty young lady enters the compartment and takes place. One of the guys starts to talk to her, first about the weather, and then about travelling. The lady tells why she is making her journey: she took part in a congress on human sexuality. She learnt that jews were the best lovers, and red indians the most persistent ones. Suddently the up to now silent guy jumps up and exclaims: "May I introduce myself - my name is Moshe Winnetou!" |
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Three blondes were talking about problems with their boy-friends.
The first excitedly said: "He presented me a book without pictures, but I cannot read." The second lamented: "My friend presented me a golden pen, but I cannot write." And the third complained: "My sweety presented me a new roll-on, but I don`t have a driving licence." Take it easy 
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The four most favorite words of a shark ?
Man has gone overboard.... A short one today
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