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Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation... the brown Labrador turned to the black Lab and said, 'So why are you here?'
The black Lab replied, 'I'm a p!sser. I p!ss on everything... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I p!ssed in the middle of my owner's bed.' The brown Lab said, 'So what is the vet going to do?' 'Gonna cut my nuts off,' came the reply from the black Lab. 'They reckon it'll calm me down.' The brown Lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, 'Why are you here?' The yellow Lab said, 'I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the Hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch.' 'So what are they going to do to you?' the brown Lab enquired. 'Looks like I'm losing my nuts too', the dejected yellow Lab said. The yellow Lab then turned to the brown Lab and asked, 'Why are you here?' 'I'm a humper,' the brown Lab said. 'I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away'. The yellow and black Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, 'So, nuts off for you too, huh?' The brown Lab said... 'No, I'm here to get my nails clipped.' |
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Suzy: "Hi Sally, you did like the yesterday party, I suppose."
Sally: " Sure, it was pretty good." Suzy: "And you got quite near to a handsome young gentleman, I noticed!" Sally: "Yes, he was quite good looking," Suzy: "And you both disappeared long time before the end of the party!" Sally: "Yes; he proposed to show me his stamp-collection." Suzy: "Wow, and how was he?" Sally: "Shit. He showed me stamps, lots of stamps..." |
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