Some Fun And Jokes

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(4.42 / 5, 19 ratings)

Author Posts

24.01.2012, 22:19

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

After a longer time it's urgent time to put a new one in Smile

A miserly man is coming in a funeral parlor and is saying he needs a casket for his died mother in law.
The seller presents him various models in different price categories.
One hour later the man is saying that he likes nothing of the caskets. All are too expensive.
Thereupon the seller is making a suggestion for a very cheap solution:
Take along your mother in law and we mount 2 handholds on her.
Big Grin

Best Regards

25.12.2011, 19:44

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Why do sailing ships bear female names?
Expensive outfit and very heavily to navigate.

25.12.2011, 14:29

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Two friends at the bar :
- You know, my wife frequently complained because she wanted more freedom ...
- What did you do?
- I wish. I enlarged the kitchen ...

25.12.2011, 08:34

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

A woman enters the pharmacy and asks if they have condoms extra large format. The pharmacist answers promptly:
- Of course I have! Do you want a box?
- No. .. Sorry but if I wait here in a corner until someone comes along to buy them?

25.12.2011, 07:53

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Such approaches a policeman and asks:
- Excuse me, I can indicate the shortest route to the cemetery?
The policeman:
- Sure, go straight to the first corner!

24.12.2011, 05:19

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Okay, it is early in the morning but here a short one:

Some people (like m...1) are unable to get an apoplexy.

Why ?

It would be a hit in emptiness...

Big GrinBig Grin

Merry Christmas

23.12.2011, 18:39

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

You know what is the difference between a dove and a pussy ? ...Sad
The dove is the bird of peaceSmile and the pussy is the peace of the bird.Tongue

Strange world, right?Big Grin

passion

23.12.2011, 18:32

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

You know what is the difference between a gynecologist and a disc-jockey ? ...Sad
No difference. Both work where others are having fun!SmileTongueSmile

Have funSmile
passion

23.12.2011, 18:12

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

I'm not that good in jokes ..but here is one ....What is the difference between a stiff dick ( hard on ) and the dirty dishes ? .....you can leaf the dirty dishes standing the whole day

Kind Regards
Shaky

ps: i think that my dutch and flamish friends here can understand it better in our language Confused ..because the translation is not the exact one in english i guess Sad )

23.12.2011, 17:46

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Two snotty brats hang around the registry office watching a bridal couple.
One of the rascals whispers "let`s terrify them"
When walking to the bridegroom he suddenly shouts "hello daddy how are you."

19.12.2011, 03:30

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Oh Gents, was a nice "Driving Home For Christmas"- no generally speed limit on German highways Big Grin

[hidden link - please register]

and here the vehicle of "markus1" Big Grin

[hidden link - please register]

Hope you will laugh with me

Best Regards

Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin

08.12.2011, 17:13

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

A final one.

A husband and a wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local golf club. The man and woman meet the pro and head to the driving range.

The man goes up first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards.

The golf pro says, "Not bad, Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast."

The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says "Excellent!"

Now the woman takes her turn. She hits the ball 30 yards.

Golf pro: "Not bad, but try holding the club like you hold your husband's dick."

She swings and the ball goes 10 yards.

Golf pro: "Not bad, now try taking the club out of your mouth."

08.12.2011, 17:05

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers.
He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather,
and advises them to relax and have a good flight..
Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot,
"What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob."
All the passengers hear it.
As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up,
one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"

06.12.2011, 20:59

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Two people come into two horses. They try to find an agreement, who will get which one.

They look out so similar said the first
but I have got an idea. I cut off the left ear from one horse and it should be mine.Confused

The other agreed and he does it.
Next day when the horses alone on the grassland, says this with still having two ears:

Those are two idiots. Let’s do a joke with them. Hey, bite me off the left ear.Smile

It happens and on the follow evening the both people stay in front of the horses again
and consider what can they do else.

Hey, said the other one I will cut off the other ear from one horse and this should be mine.Confused

Full agreement by the first one and he cut off the other ear.
Next day on the grassland the horses laughs a lot and of course this without ears
bites off the second ear from the other one. Smile

In the evening the two people nearby to despair.

What can we do, what can we do, I haven’t got any idea.Sad
Suddenly the other is saying:
Yeah, have got a solution. Okay what is it tell me.

It’s very easy: One of us should take the white horse and the other the black one.Confused

Oh my good... Big Grin

Greets

30.11.2011, 23:15

Re: Some Fun And Jokes

Three sharks meet each other in the ocean.

The first says:
Last week I swam along the Californian pacific coast. I ate a swimmer and was drunk for the next three days.
It had such a lot of whisky in the blood.

Oh said No.2 my experience is similar.
I swam along the Russian coast of Kamchatka and ate also a swimmer. I was drunk for one week so much Vodka it had in the blood.
Now let me tell you my story said the third.
I got lost in a very small sea named Baltic Sea. When I came to a certain cost I ate a swimmer.
Ooohhhh it had to been a German official, I couldn’t dive for 2 weeks because it was so hollow.


Hope your reaction is Big Grin

Best regards
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