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Heard a nice one today,
I hope it also works translated to english  The pope is visiting Canada, and he's on a longer trip in a limousine with only the driver. After some time he got bored , so he asked the driver if he could drive car for a while. The driver asked if he had a driving licence. "No, but we are here on a lonely road in Canada, nobody will check my driving licence". As the driver was a little tired anyway he let the pope drive the car and took a seat in the back of the limousine. In the beginning he was a little nervous but the pope drove good and he fell asleep. But the pope drove a little too fast and got into a speed trap. The officer stops the car, notices the pope on the driver seat, thinks a moment what to do and goes to his car to call his boss. "Boss, I have a problem, I stopped a car driving too fast, but there's a very important person in it" The boss said, also very important persons have to respect the speed limit. "But I still don't know if I really can do that" Boss: "OK, please tell me, who is it? Maybe we can make an exception" Officer:"Actually I don't know, he's sleeping in the back of the car, but the pope is his driver" Regards Joker |
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A man is riding on a camel through the Sahara desert.
Suddenly is hearing the voice of a ghost: Stop, Stop, Stop ! He is stopping the riding. Step down, Step down, Step down ! He is stepping down. Grub, Grub, Grub! He is grubbing and finds a big box filled with Gold coins. Ride to Cairo, Ride to Cairo, Ride to Cairo! He is riding to Cairo. Go in casino, Go in Casino, Go in Casino! He enters the casino with the box of Gold coins. Go to roulette table, Go to roulette table, Go to roulette table! He goes. Bet all on 13, Bet all on 13, Bet all on 13! He bets the box on 13. The 12 is winning. Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit Sorry I don't use this word normally, it's only the Ghosts voice. Best Reagrds |
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What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"
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which animal has only one labium?
a half chicken... 
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A man is driving home late one night and is feeling very horny.
As he is passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander. He thinks to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around here for miles. He pulls over to the side of the road, picks out a nice juicy looking pumpkin, cuts the appropriate size hole in it, and begins to screw the pumpkin. After a while he is really into it, and doesn't notice the police car pulling up. The cop walks over and says, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?" The man looks at the cop in complete horror, thinks fast and says, "A pumpkin? Is it midnight already?" |
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What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of semen. |
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What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. |
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The queen of Euro(pe), Mrs. Merkel and womanizer Mr. Berlusconi hold a secret meeting.
Mrs. Merkel: "What shall we do, Germany is on the brink of desaster" Mr. Berlusconi: "My dear Angela follow me, we are finally one step ahead, cheers." |
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hey guys!
what's the difference between horny and perverse? ...no idea?!?!? ...horny: if you caress the pussy from a woman with a pen perverse: if the chicken still hangs on!
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superbo wrote:Bend down, fairy. A wish is a wish! 35 characters  superbo wrote:Anyone a shorter one ? What's alcohol ? My blood test ! Count by yourself Greets |
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Sometimes one picture says more than thousand words
[hidden link - please register] Cheers Herbert Greets and Thanks to all the supporters here
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this is also funny!
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A businessman enters a pub (let`s say in Molvania). A common hamster sits on the bar, playing a small piano. Close beside a frog singing several tunes with a huge voice. A miraculous frog, thinks the businessman, I must get it. After five beers and some whiskies (who counts?) the deal with the barkeeper is done and the proud businessman leaves the pub with the new acquisition.
One day later he comes back to the pub puting the frog on the bar and complaining that it cannot sing but only call "quack quack". "Sorry", says the barkeeper, "I never argued the frog is a vocal artist". "But who was singing with this marvelous voice yesterday" asks the businessman. "Look at the hamster" whispers the barkeeper "that little animal is not alone a fantastic piano player but an awesome ventriloquist, too and I would never sell it". |
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?" |
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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?" |
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