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“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.” |
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brudgon wrote: This is epic ,Great These kids belongs the future  Thanx Brudgon 
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another word for defecation...
...acquittal!
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Two women are playing golf on a sunny afternoon when one of them slices her shot into a foursome of men. To her horror, one of the men collapses in agony with both hands in his crotch. She runs to him apologizing profusely, explaining that she is a physical therapist and can help ease his pain.
"No thanks... just give me a few minutes... I'll be fine..." he replies quietly with his hands still between his legs. Taking it upon herself to help the poor man, she gently undoes the front of his pant and starts massaging his genitals. "Doesn't that feel better?" she asks. "Well... yes... That feels pretty good," he admits. "But my thumb still hurts like hell."
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An elk consults a fortune teller to hear about his future. After looking into her glass ball she asks the elk: "do you like to hang around a homely chimney fire?"
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Olympics Opening Ceremony and Mr Bean
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From the time when an iron curtain was dividing Europe and be thankful that time is over
The Secretary General of the G.D.R.(Erich Honecker) travelled to the Soviet Union to meet its Secretary General (Leonid Breshnev) Leonid said: Erich let me show you what good communists are our people. A big demonstration on the red place in Moscow followed. Breshnev asked for 3 things: Who is your papa? You Leonid, the millions answered. Who is your mama? It is the U.S.S.R. ! What do you wish? More socialism ! 6 months later, Leonid came for a counter visit to East Berlin. Big demonstration on the place of Alexander was happening. Honnie asked for 3 things: Who is your papa? You Erich, the millions answered. Who is your mama? It is the G.D.R. ! What is your biggest wish ??? To get new parents Best Regards |
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It was happening in the beginning of the 80's.
The Japanese invented a new TV, as small as a box of safety matches. The Russians stroke back and invented a box of safety matches as big as a TV.  Best Regards |
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A guy is wondering why his friend wears a suspender belt just recently. "Sorry, but my wife found it in the glovebox of my car."
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Two guys are talking about her sisters: "Looks your sister now better by using the new mud mask?"
"Well, only for short time, now it flakes off again." |
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Son: "Mum, have blackberries got legs?"
Mum: "No, you fool, never!" Son: "OMG, then I've eaten a beetle!" |
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Arsene Wenger, Alex Ferguson, and Jose Mourinho all perish in a plane crash and went to meet their maker.
The supreme deity turned to Wenger and asked, tell what is important about yourself. Wenger responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important. God looked to Wenger and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand". God then asked Ferguson what he revered most. Ferguson responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important. God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand". God then turned to Mourinho, who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem Mourinho?" Mourinho responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".
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